The Running Of The Cougars

well, well, well, just when you think the moral depravity of human beings has reached the bottom of the abyss it somehow finds a way to sink even lower.


i think everyone is familiar with the running of the bulls in pamplona spain. it pretty much makes the news every year especially when someone gets gored or trampled. oh the humanity!


it was recently brought to my attention, that just outside the town of boca raton florida there lies an highly exclusive gated and walled community that the locals so regretfully refer to as "casa de pumas" whose residents are all super rich widows in their late forties and fifties. they were all married to much older but very wealthy men. so now the metamorphoses from gold digging trophy wife to cougar has manifested itself, and the new being has an insatiable appetite for very young men that are referred to as "cougar candy". how sick and demeaning is that. they have no respect at all for their sexual quarry, only animalistic lust, and that nauseates me to no end. these are young men, not pieces of meat we are talking about here. sorry for the emotional outburst, back to the topic,"the running of the cougars". it's pretty secretive so i don't know how often it takes place i just know that it does. it generally is comprised mostly of young hispanic illegal aliens because of their lack of legal recourse. ONE time when we can use the aclu and they are nowhere to be found. so how do old cougar chicks run down very young hispanic males that are capable of sprinting across the usa border undetected you ask? well that is when good old american ingenuity kicks in. some have to try to make a hasty escape while wearing oversize flip flops, others have their stride limited by short pieces of rope tied at the ankles, that big red fuzzy rope the museums use to keep you out of places they don't want you to be. the tanya harding knee capping technique is also used sparingly. another favorite is making them run with grandma panties pulled down over their heads, just to mention a few. the excited cougars then release the "candies" and chase them through the neighborhood with the hopes of catching one and taking it back to the love lair. i saw one lucky survivor that had multiple scratches down his back and legs and smeared lipstick on various parts of his body. he had a frightened look in his eyes that i would liken to a scene i once viewed on the nature channel when a squirrel had just barely escaped the deadly talonic grasp of a bald eagle. you could see the mortal fear in its eyes and see the rapid and heavy pounding of his heart. this is all wrong on so many levels in my opinion. others may perceive differently. the cougars may feel it is part of the payback for living with a much older men through the prime of their lives. the young mexican man may see being hooked up with a ultra rich widow as achieving the amercan dream. the aclu, if they had shown up might have seen it as the biggest crime against humanity in recent history. there are a lot of ways to look at it, that's for sure.
let's make a commitment to put morals back in the majority
my blogging com padres, before it is to late.

remember...reduce, reuse and recycle. after cougaring, planet hating is the next reason for the breakdown of the moral fiber of our society.

thanks to my friend chris f. for his contribution to this post

Girls Gone Giggin

back in july i had the privilege to accompany my sis in law (robyn) and two nieces (vanessa and denise) on what can only be described as a frog gigging extravaganza!! we had a great time and got a couple of snap shots to prove it. enjoy.

the place we gigged was at the corner of perry pike and "frog pond road" this can ONLY happen in kentucky i don't care what you say..

vanessa and froggin guide gerald

turns out vanessa you have to kiss them BEFORE you stab them to death. your guide should have known this.....

gerald and robyn aka "the gig"

denise with monster frog

keep it green people or we could end up like these frogs....................

bubba lou's death ride

this pic was dated sept. 1966. to the best of my memory that would have been on granny's farm in clark co. ky. to the rear on the left is don, in front of him is mike. leaning on the rickshaw is danny. sitting in the rickshaw is roger on the left and me on the right. gerald was most likely in a time out. granny got this rickshaw in winchester, it's the only one i have ever ridden in. probably the only one i ever saw in person. walking is a hillbilly's most common form of conveyance. as you can see this is a pretty spindly bunch of younguns. not exactly bred from good rickshaw pulling stock. anyhow roger and i were the youngest and smallest, we had to work as a team to pull the others. mike on the other hand could pull that thing pretty good with both roger and myself in it. i think he got some oriental genes somehow, small in stature with better than average pulling capability. his specialty was what he called bubba lou's death ride. we would sit in that thing and he would take off and go as fast as he could go, making sure to hit every hole, exposed tree root and bump while zig-zagging like a crazy person trying to dislodge us from the ride. it was quite a lot of fun for us, but mike had some endurance issues and would usually quit before we were tired of riding. it was great fun but we never felt like imminent death was upon us. hype is sooo old school. looking back on it now i have to wonder what passers by must of thought in 1966 rural clark co. seeing this this boy pulling a rickshaw like a total nut job with two little kids in the back. also looking back one has to realize that the rickshaw is the ultimate in totally green transportation. so keep it green folks, i've been doing it all my life and look how well i turned out........

thought for the day

i saw this bumper sticker that said "mean people suck".
but isn't it mean to tell someone you think they suck?
go figure

STOP Global Whining

So as i promised in my last post, today we will address the issue of global warming. we must first lay some critical ground work via earth history.(condensed version) so in the beginning God created earth, and Adam and Eve. they lived in the garden of Eden. everything was perfect. i would tend to think the climate was perfect also, since they did not need clothes for warmth or protection from the suns harmful rays. now fast forward to the time of Noah. the people became so evil that God brought a great flood that covered the whole planet. only righteous Noah and his family and the animals survived the flood in the ark that God told Noah to build. note: the world was covered with water. it did not continue to get wetter each year, God caused the water to recede. now let's crank it on up to the mid nineteen seventies. that's when the scientist started the global cooling scare. it was predicted that the growing season would be shortened to the point that food supplies could not sustain the current population. there was also speculation that polar bears would migrate as far down as st.louis Missouri. they would become very moody and extremely unpredictable thus requiring daily medication. therefore they would be renamed bi-polar bears. i was living at this time and i don't remember any of this actually happening. now a short three decades later and the scientist say the planet is on a deadly warming trend. it's just a matter of years and what is now ocean front properties will be known as "the new Atlantis", due to the total meltdown of the polar caps and every glacier on the face of the earth. this of course will be due to the depleted ozone layer of the upper atmosphere. so there seems to be a whole lot of whining about this alleged global warming. you know, i hear a lot of whining at my work place about all kinds of problems from the management team. but, unless the solution is (free)(easy)or (someone else will do it), no one does anything. it seems to me the same thing is happening on this issue, if there is indeed a issue. a lot of whining with little or no action. well i have done some research on ozone. turns out you can make the stuff with a thing called a ozone generator. ever seen bottled water that claims to be "ozonated"? what this means is the water has been bombarded with innumerable bubbles of ozone gas to remove the impurities. they cling to the bubbles and i don't know what happens after that, they just leave the water. well........how do you run out of something that you can make cheap you ask? i don't know. if any of you know a scientist ask them and tell the rest of us please. here are my countermeasures: the ozone that protects us from harmful uv rays is in the upper atmosphere. every day thousands of airplanes fly way up in the air. what we do is put these efficient ozone generators on the planes, with them spraying out ozone gas as they streak across the sky, thus repleting the ozone layer. or we could use the space shuttle to dump a bunch out on its way to the space station. or maybe retro-fit blimps to do the job. well i think even a casual reader of this blog would attest that i ain't no rocket sturgeon. so if i can muster up viable solutions to this planets threatening problem, just imagine what the smart people could do if they only applied themselves. the moral of this story is everyone can help the planet regardless of their intellectuality...................................................be green, mother earth is counting on you!


p.s. now that the problem has been solved, by all means take the family out for a sunday drive. and hey, if the urge hits scratch off and do a doughnut or two.

Trash Talk

well it was just a matter of time, before i had to forsake the funny stuff and tend to a serious matter. sorry but it can't be all fun and games. that's life, so suck it up and hang on, you might even learn something here. as my beloved faithful readers all know i am all about keepin' it green. however do not think that means that i am on board with this global warming scare because i am not. no more than i was on board with the global cooling scare of the seventies. but we will address that issue in a future post. a little fyi, things are about to get philosophical here just so you don't get caught off guard. so back to the matter at hand. we all know, or should know the three "r"s, right? it's that triangly arrowed do-dad. reduce, reuse and recycle. hopefully we don't all just know them but everybody is living them. so let me explain to you the irony of my situation and the duality of my condition. i work in the manufacturing industry, building automobiles. everyone knows that the two biggest pollutants of our precious planet are................yeah that's right, the manufacturing industry and automobiles, yet i still strive to keep it green in every way . there in lies the irony of my situation and the duality of my condition. it's a real paradoxical conundrum that i have to live with every day people. so as customary here at my house, last sunday evening i was putting out the trash and most importantly the recycle bin for monday morning pick up when i am confronted by a neighbor out for his evening stroll. he walks by and calls me a hypocrite. well....thanks to my calm and unflappable demeanor i didn't open up a can of whoppin' on him. but i did inquire as to the meaning of his offensive accusation. and he says, i know you work over there at that car factory with its big smoke stacks belchin' and chemical water spewing into elkhorn creek. but you put your recycle bin in front of your house for everyone to see. so i looked him square in the eyes and said, do you know who's really to blame? it's the Japanese......................................keep it green folks!!!! p.s. hey a man's gotta eat

I am so impressed with your amazing vocabulary. I'm convinced you should have been an author. You can tell some colorful, witty, stories. I'm just not sure if they are fiction or non-fiction. Your blog title sounds like something from Sienfield. Did you just pull that from thin air or was it a divine inspiration?
Chuck and Brenda were here this week. Reed was on spring break. We got to meet Emma. She is a cutie.
What is happening in Mt. Sterling? We have had rain, rain, and more rain.

Don't Try This At Home !

at the request of my readers i will tell another story about myself, but i have to tell you i'm running out of material. anyhow at about fourteen or so i was sitting at home minding my own business when a knock at the door alerted me to someones presence. it was my friends steve and tommy. looking back on it, i should of known that no good could come from this situation, but they persuaded me to go with them anyway. at that time tommy owned a honda elsinore 125cc moto-cross bike. it was a nice bike and it would fly with me on it. but i only weighed about 115 lb.s at that point soaking wet. but then again i wasn't TOTALLY FREAKIN RIPPED then like i am now. that being said , back to the story. so they came and got me because they had found a wonderful big mud hole over on the other side of winchester rd. where a new subdivision was being built. so the mud is a couple feet or so deep and pretty tacky with the hole nearly 20 yards in diameter. the bank going into the mud was average in angle as drying up ponds go. there were tracks going through the mud so i knew they had been across it. i questioned them at length about the technique and velocity needed to traverse this vast expanse of stiff muddiness. all i could get was"you don't want to go to fast, but , you don't want to go to slow either", that was their response. however, what i heard was, first gear from the top of the bank, WIDE OPEN THROTTLE. it,s always better to go to fast than to go to slow, isn't it? by the way i do think i had a helmet on. so lets do this thing, i saddle up and as planned, first gear wide open throttle. at the speed of sight i hit the mud. about the time the rear tire reached the mud the bike went thawump. dead stop,just like hitting a concrete wall. remember seventh grade science class? an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and the ever important for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. well the way this applied to the situation is that the bike stopped, but me not being part of the bike and in motion tended to stay in motion. i held on to the handle bars but i did come up off the foot pegs and the seat several feet. when gravity prevailed and i came back down, i was straddling the gas tank. mortally wounded i melted down the side of the bike and proceeded to roll around in excruciating pain on the ground where my friends were already rolling in hysterical laughter. this went on for nearly ten minutes. the bike just stood there still upright and motionless. mud is tough. so the moral of the story is, before you do something, take a moment to think it through. and if there seems to be some calculable risk, by all means go for it dude.going through life never taking risks is not living but meerly existing. living=good, existing=bad..... one thing we don't want to risk boys and girls is the planet. so till next time, keep'er green

Chonicles of Head Trauma

has anyone ever ask you, (with their head cocked and the look of total bewilderment upon their face) after having witnessed you say or do something; what is wrong with you ? ? ?
for me the answer starts at an early age, at about four years old to the best of my recollection. although instances may have occurred prior to that, (and probably did) , i can neither confirm or deny them, even though i was most likely present at the time. but anyway at around four years of age we were living in a new house in huber heights, ohio. we had bunk beds and linoleum tile floors on what, going by the feel of it, as i fell head first from the top bunk, was most likely a concrete slab. i think i saw stars on a field of black. thus my story begins. later we moved to middletown and at the tender young age of seven i mistakenly walked up behind gerald just as he was swinging a baseball bat. once again i saw the vision of stars on a field of total blackness. i'm pretty sure this was an accident since there was no evidence of repetitive blows. from there we moved to tucson arizona. it was there that gerald, myself, and mitch(a family friend) enjoyed riding our bikes around the apartment complex and the adjoining desert. at the edge of the parking lot going into the desert was a bit of a dirt mound that seemed like an ideal natural ramp to use to facilitate jumping to the desert that was about six feet lower than the parking lot. the way i remember it gerald and mitch where going to watch as i performed this amazing stunt.
so i got way back and peddled as hard as i could to the ramp. being inexperienced at bicycle jumping i did not pull back as i jumped, and as a result did half of a forward flip and landed on my head giving me a concussion. i don't remember it but they said i ran my bike into a parked car on the way home. i do not remember anything until i woke up in the front of dads car on the way to the hospital. i ask dad why i was all wet, he said i threw up on myself. the hospital was kinda weird because all i remember is that the nurse kept telling me to get undressed. i got down to the tighty whiteys but she would not relent till i was totally naked. i blacked out again after that so i don't know what she did to me. things were going pretty good for several years, we moved to el paso, slc and then to mt. sterling all while not incurring any more excessive blows to the head. i think some of the neurotransmitters were actually beginning to heal and reconnect to the small part in the middle brain that had not yet been damaged. that is when i let my guard down as is common anyway during the teen years. during that time i had an old, red, highly faded volkswagon bug. these cars were very solid. they were not made of the flimsy 3mm crap that is used today, it did not bend so easy or at all in some cases. also at this time i was dating an absolutely fabulous and beautiful gal, (that i later married). one night we went on a date to the judy drive-in and it must have been in the fall because i was wearing my army issue field jacket which is a high quality, well built garment. the clothing equivalent to the vw bug. anyhow i parked to close to the speaker pole and could barely get out of the car, it was a tight squeeze even for a skinny teenager. so..... i had to go to the bathroom or get dee a soda or something and managed to get out the door. when i got back i squoze into the narrow opening between the door and the car and just as i got past, i collapsed into the seat. the only problem was is that my jacket had caught on the door, and when i sat down suddenly the total weight of my body slammed the door closed on my head that had yet to clear the threshold. i just saw black. no stars this time. so things where going pretty good again for quite a few years, the healing had once again started to take hold. then last summer, we went white water rafting in west virginia. on the first rapid we went over a small drop, somehow it launched liz into the air and she landed backwards slamming her helmet into the side of mine near the temple. just saw black and the side of my head was sore for a week. i think those helmets are for looks only, but then again it may have saved my life. i guess we'll never know........... so, that's my answer.......... this may not be all inclusive or even very accurate, for obvious reasons.

for the sake of the planet,
keep it green

deja vu

last week in KY we had some sleet, freezing rain and snow topped off with some sleet, freezing rain and snow. schools were shut down all week so Dee was off work and i even got a free day off Wednesday. we went on a trip to Winchester and took the scenic route on the way home past...
you guessed it, granny's old farm house, birthplace of "the poopy man". if you slow down when driving by, the scent of feces still lingers in the air. we had not been by there for awhile. then this week on my way one day the interstate was shut down right past the exit where i get off. this was due to multiple wrecks caused by slick road conditions, it wasn't to bad for about a mile then things came to a stand still, this happens when you divert two lanes of interstate traffic onto a small state highway. so i had to backtrack to an alternate route which took me right by... yep you guessed again, granny's old farm house. that's twice in a weeks time. but i made it home, thanks to keen navigational skills and unmatched determination.

keep it green folks

wild western adventures

just got back from utah a few days ago, we had a great time and got to visit with family i hadn't seen for several years and one niece i had never met. wyoming is windy. it's lots of fun to sit around and listen to old childhood stories. it's also fun to tell a few especially when they are on your brothers and their children have never heard them. the stories about playing poopy-man on granny's farm were quite popular. this is when my cousin would take a stick and put it down in the out house and get crap on the end of it and chase you trying to wipe the poop on you. this seemed weird to some folks, but the thing you got to understand is, when your cousin has a stick with doodie on the end of it coming at you there are no options, you are now playing poopy-man. your only hope is to try and out run one of your other cousins. screaming does not help, it just waste precious oxygen you could be using to run faster. i don't care what you say, even the geekiest of the geeks can't put that kind of excitement into a video game. trust me kids, reality just don't happen in front of a screen. remember you heard that here first.



keep it green, your great grandchildren have to live somewhere, it might as well be earth