STOP Global Whining

So as i promised in my last post, today we will address the issue of global warming. we must first lay some critical ground work via earth history.(condensed version) so in the beginning God created earth, and Adam and Eve. they lived in the garden of Eden. everything was perfect. i would tend to think the climate was perfect also, since they did not need clothes for warmth or protection from the suns harmful rays. now fast forward to the time of Noah. the people became so evil that God brought a great flood that covered the whole planet. only righteous Noah and his family and the animals survived the flood in the ark that God told Noah to build. note: the world was covered with water. it did not continue to get wetter each year, God caused the water to recede. now let's crank it on up to the mid nineteen seventies. that's when the scientist started the global cooling scare. it was predicted that the growing season would be shortened to the point that food supplies could not sustain the current population. there was also speculation that polar bears would migrate as far down as st.louis Missouri. they would become very moody and extremely unpredictable thus requiring daily medication. therefore they would be renamed bi-polar bears. i was living at this time and i don't remember any of this actually happening. now a short three decades later and the scientist say the planet is on a deadly warming trend. it's just a matter of years and what is now ocean front properties will be known as "the new Atlantis", due to the total meltdown of the polar caps and every glacier on the face of the earth. this of course will be due to the depleted ozone layer of the upper atmosphere. so there seems to be a whole lot of whining about this alleged global warming. you know, i hear a lot of whining at my work place about all kinds of problems from the management team. but, unless the solution is (free)(easy)or (someone else will do it), no one does anything. it seems to me the same thing is happening on this issue, if there is indeed a issue. a lot of whining with little or no action. well i have done some research on ozone. turns out you can make the stuff with a thing called a ozone generator. ever seen bottled water that claims to be "ozonated"? what this means is the water has been bombarded with innumerable bubbles of ozone gas to remove the impurities. they cling to the bubbles and i don't know what happens after that, they just leave the water. well........how do you run out of something that you can make cheap you ask? i don't know. if any of you know a scientist ask them and tell the rest of us please. here are my countermeasures: the ozone that protects us from harmful uv rays is in the upper atmosphere. every day thousands of airplanes fly way up in the air. what we do is put these efficient ozone generators on the planes, with them spraying out ozone gas as they streak across the sky, thus repleting the ozone layer. or we could use the space shuttle to dump a bunch out on its way to the space station. or maybe retro-fit blimps to do the job. well i think even a casual reader of this blog would attest that i ain't no rocket sturgeon. so if i can muster up viable solutions to this planets threatening problem, just imagine what the smart people could do if they only applied themselves. the moral of this story is everyone can help the planet regardless of their intellectuality...................................................be green, mother earth is counting on you!


p.s. now that the problem has been solved, by all means take the family out for a sunday drive. and hey, if the urge hits scratch off and do a doughnut or two.

Trash Talk

well it was just a matter of time, before i had to forsake the funny stuff and tend to a serious matter. sorry but it can't be all fun and games. that's life, so suck it up and hang on, you might even learn something here. as my beloved faithful readers all know i am all about keepin' it green. however do not think that means that i am on board with this global warming scare because i am not. no more than i was on board with the global cooling scare of the seventies. but we will address that issue in a future post. a little fyi, things are about to get philosophical here just so you don't get caught off guard. so back to the matter at hand. we all know, or should know the three "r"s, right? it's that triangly arrowed do-dad. reduce, reuse and recycle. hopefully we don't all just know them but everybody is living them. so let me explain to you the irony of my situation and the duality of my condition. i work in the manufacturing industry, building automobiles. everyone knows that the two biggest pollutants of our precious planet are................yeah that's right, the manufacturing industry and automobiles, yet i still strive to keep it green in every way . there in lies the irony of my situation and the duality of my condition. it's a real paradoxical conundrum that i have to live with every day people. so as customary here at my house, last sunday evening i was putting out the trash and most importantly the recycle bin for monday morning pick up when i am confronted by a neighbor out for his evening stroll. he walks by and calls me a hypocrite. well....thanks to my calm and unflappable demeanor i didn't open up a can of whoppin' on him. but i did inquire as to the meaning of his offensive accusation. and he says, i know you work over there at that car factory with its big smoke stacks belchin' and chemical water spewing into elkhorn creek. but you put your recycle bin in front of your house for everyone to see. so i looked him square in the eyes and said, do you know who's really to blame? it's the Japanese......................................keep it green folks!!!! p.s. hey a man's gotta eat